I’m going to hold my hand up and immediately admit that my mind has been changed by my experiences today. Aside from Wiggle’s organisational abilities, which I will come on to, the sportive experience included a great deal of camaraderie and meeting of new people, who I might go on to ride with another day.

It was a cold start for the Wiggle Ups and Downs sportive. Photo courtesy of Wiggle

More valuable still, was the motivation it gave me. I had chosen the epic route and because it was ‘an event’, I would finish it. Despite rain, cold and pain, there was no stopping at a pub, no third coffee stop, there was only an objective and a resolve to push on, get stronger in the process and reach the end.

But, I’d signed up for the Wiggle Super Series Ups and Downs sportive, and that’s what I was going to do! Several snooze ­button presses later, I slide myself stealthily from my bed (so as not to rouse the g/f) to begin my pre-sportive process. Porridge with raisins and sultanas and a cuppa. It’s still raining outside. It’s still raining ­and still quite heavily. I WhatsApp my fellow Handsling Racing riders (as texting is so passé) to confirm the meet point and to also advise them of the weather, only to discover they are already en-­route to the event, scheduled to arrive in the next 10 minutes.

My already overcast mood greys over somewhat as I guesstimate the timings and determine that I won’t make it onto the start line with them. After deliberating too long which overshoes and gloves combo would be correct for the days forecast conditions of snow and rain (matching Castelli diluvio are preferred over Endura – but mostly cos my Endura’s are mitts – the gloves that is, not the overshoes) – and adorned in cycling kit, I make another cuppa (which I deliver to the still snoring g/f), then depart for deepest Dorking.

Arrival at the event location and directed into overflow parking commences a flurry, not of snow, but four, five and six letter expletives. Outside my car the rain persists. Inside my car the mood drops another notch. I survey my surroundings and its content. Mostly German marques,­ mostly with roof mounted racks mostly transporting bicycles worth more than the value of my car and bike combined. Meh! Sportive’s are obviously attracting a certain demographic­ or perhaps just this sportive in The Surrey Hills?

Mike’s haul of goodys from the Wiggle Super Series Ups and Downs event

With no signs of the rain easing, I WhatsApp my Handsling Racing and Rocket Bike CC buddies for motivation. This obviously does the trick and I declare (using a few choice words) that I’m not up for it and am about to drive home. As I turn the ignition my conscience reminds me ­or was it Simon Whiten the Handsling Racing DS once more of my obligation, not to mention how much of a dick I’d look driving away.

So, somewhat lethargically I remove The DQ (Dancing Queen) from the boot of my illustrious French motor vehicle, put on my wet weather gear, including the not easy to get on neoprene Castelli overshoes, lock up my sexy Citroen and cycle to the event site.

The well laid out event campus is bustling with people and bikes of all shapes, sizes and colours, and despite the downcast conditions the atmosphere is buzzing. There are several vendor and merchandising stalls, ­of which the eye­ candy on display by Reynolds Wheels holds my interest way too long. I hastily remind myself that I’m not here to make expensive purchases and lead myself away from temptation down a flight of stairs towards registration.

The registration building is a gymnasium ­complete with gymnasium flooring; ­complete with lots of grumbling cyclists having to remove their cycling shoes (and first any overshoes) to avoid damaging said flooring. Removing my shoes and (now wet) neoprene overshoes ­which I’d battled to put on less than 10 minutes ago ­does little to lift my ‘Oscar the grouch’ mood. But… greeted by the beaming, bad ­weather ­banishing smiles on the faces of the incredibly pleasant and uber ­efficient young ladies fielding the entry-on-­day desk (who immediately knew my name ­despite my bumbling attempts to recall the name of my fellow Handsling Racing club member, ­sorry Paul!), a break in the dark clouds of my mood begins to appear.

Exiting registration (after replacing my dancing shoes and overshoes again ­of course) it’s evident that the smiles of the delightful damsels appear to have performed a double­ whammy as the rainfall has almost subsided, and with a tagged helmet, rider number and zip ­ties in hand I head out to face the music.

Chatting to fellow riders (above the choons from the sound system) in the start ­queue I dutifully discover that riders tackling the Epic route could mostly be in the minority. Maybe it’s just the batch of riders I’m with who are on the ‘Short’ route? The other ‘Epic’ riders would have left earlier wouldn’t they? After a detailed briefing ­advising us of a sponsored walk, a super car event, a classic car display and another cycle event we’re given the green light and sent on our Short, Standard or Epic ways!

In about the time it takes to make a pot of coffee (approx 4km) we arrive at our first ‘up’ of the day and the first name on this very full dance ­card. The ramble up (the damp) Ranmore Common is a sign of what’s in store, and serves to be a shortish, sharp warm-­up for the next two names of note on our card. The (careful) descents of Crocknorth and Combe Lane – both of which had very visible and vocal marshal’s at key points of their descent warning riders of the road conditions.

Everyone enjoys a good feed stop, just don’t spend too long there! Photo courtesy of Wiggle

As we rock and roll along our route through Surrey and Sussex we continually check the names off our dance ­card with robotic ­like routine. Our trance­like trip take us via Albury Hill, Parklands, Hound House, Brookhurst & Swallowhurst, Knowle Lane, Alford, Dunsfold, Loxhill, Hascombe, Hambledon, Plaistow Road, Whites Hill, Cooks Hill, Holmbury, Hoe Lane and Leith Hill. The surroundings are truly stunning and every up and every down offers their own unique challenge; even Dunsfold’s dicey roads and Hascombe’s harsh headwinds!

Leaving the penultimate peak of Leith Hill in our wake we approach the final ‘up of the day’. It may not be Paris, but this last Tango in Surrey is the well ­worthy knee­ weakening White Down. However, being a somewhat experienced veteran of this climb – and despite having no Garmin (the battery died shortly after leaving the final feed station) to inform me as to when the pain is scheduled (although those walking up were indication enough) ­the climb is conquered with relative ease, even if in my bottom gear, and in the small ring of course!

From that last up, it’s on to the definitive ‘down of the day’ and the final name on this dance ­card, Ranmore Road. Once again the well ­positioned (audible and alert) marshal advised me to be cautious on the descent ­which can be notorious for posterior ­based squeaky moments when approaching the public refuse site, but on this day it was vehicle free in both directions and dare I say it – pleasurable!

After Ranmore all that remained was to cruise alongside the vineyards of Denbies to the finish line, where once again the friendly and experienced marshals ensured riders knew where they were going and what to do. With the obligatory selfie taken ­clutching a free t-­shirt, wearing a finishers medal ­with matching smile ­I returned to my car. Very tired, very proud and very impressed.

Wiggle Super Series Ups and Downs completed, its time for the obligatory selfie

I could wax lyrical about the great route signage ­but I shan’t. Though I will add that after my Garmin failed (which I was really only using for drink and food timing) I never gave a second thought to directions as the signs were very well placed and very clear. I could harp on about the three feed stations covering all three routes, each of which were well stocked with tasty treats and suitable supplements. I don’t usually stop at all feed stations during a sportive, but during this event I found myself actually wanting to, ­either for a brief chat with the cheery event staff or other riders ­or simply for another slice of the fiendishly ­moreish flapjack!

I could also mention the mobile support teams ­who I noticed on several occasions; assisting riders with punctures/mechanical issues and whatever else they required. Although I pretty much cycled the entire route solo, never once did I feel that I was alone ­and that can only be testament to the organisational abilities that Wiggle demonstrated and the confidence it instills within riders.